18 May 2006

The Ultimate Rant


I AM: about to leave for a short-notice business trip.
I SAID: "about to leave" when what I meant was "trying to do six hundred things before I am ready to leave".
I WANT: to have more meaningful topics on this blog than memes, pictures, and hair stuff. (But, by the way, have you found any curl spray?)
I WISH: this trip hadn't come up because my whole week is F'ed up.
I HATE: feeling so out of kilter.
I MISS: having summers off.
I FEAR: growing up.
I HEAR: lovely silence.
I WONDER: when all of my neighbors started going for walks with their cell phones.
I REGRET: the circumstances of the past seven days. Not really... I'm just quoting.
I AM NOT: always who I want to be.
I DANCE: awkwardly.
I SING: even worse than I dance.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: as nice on the inside as I seem on the outside, or as I wish I were.
I MADE: jazz cookies over the weekend. "Jazz cookies" as they were the result of some serious improvisation. Sometimes I accidentally don't do what the recipe says, and then I have to make the rest up. They ended up good, though.
I WRITE: a lot.
I CONFUSE: Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro.
I NEED: to finish packing.
I SHOULD: shower.
I START: crying pretty easily.
I FINISH: other people's sentences.
I BELIEVE: in a lot of things, but it's all pretty vague and it isn't any of it a real trusting belief.
I KNOW: it's all gonna be okay.
I CAN: usually remember that.
I CAN'T: always remember that.
I SEE: it's a gorgeous day outside.
I BLOG: because I feel guilty for never having
I READ: everything I get my hands on.
I AM AROUSED BY: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith;" a good unread book; the promise of peace, serenity, clarity and calm; and other hard-to-find miracles.
IT PISSES ME OFF: when I can't remember something. (Like, just now, the phrase "a planet of regret" popped into my mind and I had to figure out where it was from. "Reality Bites," Google says, which I haven't seen in more than 10 years. Weird.)
I FIND: More and more I enjoy my own company. (Borrowed this answer from Amber.)
I LIKE: myself. Mostly.
I LOVE: the feeling of home. Whether that comes from a place, a person, or just me.

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