And Now for Something Completely Different

There is a lot of unhappiness and worry in the air tonight.

So here's 66 seconds of silly.

Count the ones you know... and when you are sad, just think of Lobster Judi Dench.

It's a Dish Better Served Cold

And by "a dish," I mean "Ben Affleck."
Best revenge ever. (via K)

Happy Clooney Day

So, it's Friday. TGIF and all that. In honor of the end of the week, George Clooney will come to your house for dinner, gently mock your cooking skills, and take a flashlight to your fuse box.

...what? There's too much snow to get there today? Hmm. This will have to do. (via Karen, via Pamie.)

(By the way, how cutely awkward is Joel Stein?)

You know, sometimes I don't understand all the hype about The Cloon. He's a very good, good-looking, middle-aged actor. But, so?

And then, you see him in a t-shirt and jeans. And... yeah. I get it.

You can investigate my crawl space any time, sir.

Can I Be Sarah Silverman?

Not only for the obvious reason here, of course. But also because I thought I loved Matt Damon plenty, till it became clear I wasn't loving him nearly enough. And for her part in that, I thank her.

Keeping the Paparazzi Employed

I came across this post today on the Heath Ledger video and it sort of put me in my place.

First of all, I'm going to hear enough celebrity gossip; I don't really need to go looking for it even if I do want it. It's definitely not necessary, having the coworkers I do, let alone everywhere else you hear it.

But more importantly, if I want it, what do I really want it for? I get self-conscious and awkward enough that I can see how awful it must be to have floodlights on your life 24 hours a day.

I do believe that people sign themselves up for that when they decide to be professional entertainers (and I think people who do that are, by definition, lacking some very basic sense of self) - but still.

It doesn't help me any to know what horrific things they're doing, does it? Apart from some schadenfreude. And that's not so great.

Weekly Roundup: Sweet Things

Baby bears are irresistable cute. (And if you speak German you can name the baby.)

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Was Ashton Kutcher always hiding those triceps under his ironic t-shirts?

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I've loved "Elvis Ain't Dead" for a couple of months - and it finally occurred to me to see what else Scouting for Girls had. All their songs are adorable.

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A melancholy little article about how we struggle to find someplace to call home, and to give that to others.

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Looking for something extra sweet? Check out Two Smart Cookies. You know you want some.

The More Things Change...

In reference to the previous post, I offer the following fairly embarrassing trivia: Davy Jones joined Kirk Cameron and Jon Bon Jovi for the trifecta of My First Crush.

I seriously cried when I realized that Davy Jones was no longer the teenager he appeared to be on Nick at Nite. I think I was maybe nine. I recall my parents finding it profoundly amusing.

But just now, in Googling for images with which to further embarrass myself... I noticed something I'd never picked up on before. Let's see if you see it too.

Jilly on Bobbleheads

"Hollywood has this idea ... that thinner is better," notes Jillian Villafane, who does makeup for news anchors.

Click here to see the full article in the Sunday NY Daily News. Pithily eloquent, as always.

Weekly Roundup: Reach Out and Touch Faith

Overheard in Sarah's Weekend

• "Do you, Thomas, take Justin... (...?) ...Kristin..."
• "Ohhh, I see ass crack."
• "There are deer on the runway."
• "Honey, did you go down on him?"

Sunday Religion

Beth's got "Personal Jesus" irretrievably jammed into my head by linking on her Facebook to these videos. So you get them too.

• Depeche Mode
• Marilyn Manson
• Johnny Cash

Random Links

• Fun with Google
• Dog Cars

And just cos I like you, one more:



Well, maybe just a couple more....

When I found those pictures I discovered Jon was right: Posh was not in attendance. She was home being completely lovely.

This weekend was more of an ongoing theme, this summer: a fantastic few days with people I love. And besides the Beckham - actually even more important than the Beckham, believe it or not - I got to see somebody wonderful find her happily-ever-after. And that was pretty, well, wonderful. You might even say it was major.

Hope your weekend was major too. And for weekend fun, look right to the Flickr photos. I've left them all public for a change. And I'll keep them that way, if you promise to comment on them so I have fun surprises.

Absolute (Photoshopping) Power Corrupts Absolutely

I have mixed feelings about what I'm about to say, because it's hypocritical. I've totally Photoshopped pictures of people, and I have totally Photoshopped pictures of myself.

To fix stray hairs or bad lighting is one thing. But when you make people look skinnier than they are, that's a little messed up. But when you're a celebrity that people idealize, I think it's really extra messed up.

I posted last year about Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty and how much I loved how it took a clear-eyed look at how wrong-headed our cultural ideals could be.

Now Dusty just sent me this article on Faith Hill's retouching for a magazine cover. And I mean, seriously. If Faith Hill needs to be made prettier and skinnier in order to meet our ideals, doesn't that show how screwed up they are?



Edited to add: Yes, they are two different shots. But if you look the pattern of the dress, you can tell that she barely moved between the two pictures. And you can tell by comparing them that she's been Photoshopped to death. Her arm is much thinner, her shoulder and back have been taken in, her collarbone is lightened, the bridge of her nose and under her eyes have been fixed up, her hair has been poofed up, her left thigh has been taken in, and so has her waist. It's not hard. I could Faith Hill your ass so fast your head would spin. (...If that makes sense.)

Edited again to add: Playing with this old photo took me about 15 minutes. Unretouched, I look dubious, tired, and shiny. Retouched, I look like a teenage drag queen in a bad wig. So it's not exactly an improvement, and I'd never actually want it. But it shows how different you can make somebody look without much effort.

Edited again again to add: I don't know why but pictures of me here creep me out. So I took them down.

Victoria Beckham: Coming to America

Okay now. The people who have sent me the bad reviews of Posh's TV special (and you know who you are, PETER AND MATT) can just hush up.

It was completely wonderful and she is lovely and funny and adorable and I continue to love her undaunted.

Love knows no reason, people. So shhh.

I Love Mika Brzezinski

Nicely done, lady.


Paris Hilton Is Not News - Watch more free videos

(Link from Peter.)

APB on BAM

I got a subscriber announcement in the mail on Wednesday from the Royal Shakespeare Company announcing that they were bringing the final show of their year-long Complete Works festival on tour.

King Lear with Ian McKellen. September at the BAM Harvey Theater in Brooklyn.

I need to see this show.

It is already sold out.

I have wanted very little more than this. I will do whatever it takes, I don't care. Flying to the two other tour stops on this continent is under consideration.

Advice, suggestions, connections both legal and otherwise, desperately sought.

Edited to add: oh my goodness oh my goodness oh my goodness I'm going I'm going I'm going I'm going!

I Discern an Interesting Pattern, Tyra Banks

Katherine McPhee


Jennifer Love Hewitt


Tyra's own

Kerrin's Weekly Roundup: Vidblogging

Rehabitual Britney: Brit vs. Amy Winehouse. You will go to hell for it, but you will giggle just a little. That poor girl.


George Takei on Tim Hardaway: A classic riposte to homophobia. This man is fantastic.


And now because I'm sick of figuring out the YouTube coding... and because I can't figure out how to embed Quicktime anyway... just some links. You do the hard work.

• Pulp Fiction Typography Music Video: sounds dorky, looks good.

• My loathing of Taco Bell is completely validated, but I may never hear the word "plump" without cringing again. (Also, has Magee Hickey's name always weirded you out, too? No? Just me?)

• I am waiting to open the work fridge to see all the food labeled with Dharma packaging.

And one last non-video-related thing... may I please never go to wherever it is that truck testicles are considered popular accessories?

Now, off to watch the Fug Girls liveblog the Oscars.

Kerrin's Weekly Roundup

• Handbag.com is considering the Least Sexy Men of the Year. (Because, you know.... they're just not Sac.) Their (Brit-centric) nominations are Pete Doherty, Russell Brand, Tom Cruise, Kevin Federline, Jude Law, Callum Best, Paul Danan, James Blunt, Brendan Cole and Peter Andre. To which I say: Pete Doherty. Yuck. He's winning (losing?) with 36% of the vote. I'd also have included Dr. Phil, the naked fat guy from Borat, Borat and John Mayer.

• I don't want to spoil "The Departed", but I don't like sitting through two hours of movie only to have the screenwriters give up on finding a resolution and just finding the shortest way to wind things up. The acting was great (if you don't mind Jack Nicholson gnawing on the scenery, even when he isn't actually pretending to be a rat) and it was just really good all through... till all the air just went out of it. But if you get how I'm supposed to care about the ending, let me know.
  

• And, because I've totally run out of things to say, here's a random picture for you. Home sweet home - it's the Pope Library.
  

Pop Quiz

What do Sophia Loren, P. Diddy and Stanley Tucci have in common?

Wandering eyes and poor timing.

Kerrin's Weekly Roundup: Tiny, Shiny and Pretty

• Movies I watch in a normal month: maybe one. Movies watched in the last three days: over five (The Queen, very good; Little Miss Sunshine, of whose indie-angstyness I was skeptical but which was actually also quite good; Crash, incredible but really intense; Dreamgirls, very very good if you know it's going to be a full-on musical, and now I want the soundtrack; a little part of The Guardian, nothing special but then when has the presence of Kevin Costner meant much else; and Mean Girls, on now) With one business trip, I might actually be able to have an opinion this Oscar season.
  

• Favorite new immigrants: Victoria and David Beckham. I think it's pretty sad that he's basically washing up over here, but since it's an awfully lucrative washing-up, I don't feel too bad. And this means more U.S. coverage of them, which, yay, they are so pretty!

• Favorite email this week: from Matt, which read only, "Girl news:" and provided a link to the pretty, pretty new iPhone. (Or whatever they'll call it, I don't care about Apple's fight with Cisco.) He knows me well.
  

• And since I am such a sucker for tiny, shiny, pretty things, here's another one out of CES: an MP3 player about the size of oh, say, maybe a wristwatch face. I am totally sucked in to the iTunes cult, so I'm not too envious - and I honestly don't understand what a USB bracelet would do exactly, but again: tiny, shiny, pretty? Good.
  

• Oooh, and speaking of tiny, shiny and pretty, here's yet another reason to get a Mini.

Worst Dressed

Oooh, Blackwell's annual worst-dressed list is out!

Blackwell strikes again: young celebs on list
Associated Press

Dubbed "style-free and fashion deprived," Britney Spears and Paris Hilton tied for the No. 1 spot on Mr. Blackwell's 47th annual "Worst Dressed" list released yesterday.

"Two peas in an overexposed pod," Blackwell said of the skimpy attire worn by the two celebutantes (Brit isn’t a celebutante at all; who wrote this article? Starlet, maybe.) he called the "Screamgirls."

Some of Blackwell's nastiest words were reserved for Camilla Parker-Bowles, the wife of Britain's Prince Charles, who finished No. 2 on the list.

"The Duchess of Dowdy strikes again," wrote Blackwell. "In feathered hats that were once the rage, she resembles a petrified parakeet from the Jurassic age. A royal wreck." (Aw, poor Camilla. It took her three decades to get her man. Leave her alone. She keeps her hair feathered because Charles likes it – how cute is that?)

Blackwell, no longer an active designer but still an acid-tongued critic of celebrity fashion, scolded actress Lindsay Lohan, No. 3, for turning "from adorable to deplorable." (No arguments here.)

He called Christina Aguilera a "dazzling singer" but added that she "puts good taste through the wardrobe wringer. All crass and no class." (I disagree completely. Exhibit A.)

He referred to Mariah Carey as "Mariah the fashion pariah ... the queen of catastrophic kitsch," and American Idol judge Paula Abdul as "a fallen fashion idol." (He's shooting fish in a barrel, here.)

He said actress Sharon Stone resembles "an over-the-hill Cruella De Ville," and Tori Spelling embodies "down and out in Beverly Hills." (Ditto.)

Grey's Anatomy star Sandra Oh was faulted for too many beads and bangles. "She's layered lunacy from head to toe," Blackwell said. (Bah. She is a gorgeous woman.)

Meryl Streep, who starred in the fashion-themed movie The Devil Wears Prada, came in at No. 10 on the annual dis-list.

"From Streep you could weep," Blackwell said. "Her beauty of a career cannot be denied, but that beast of a wardrobe is pure mother of the bride."

On a kinder note, Blackwell offered his 10 "fabulous fashion independents": actresses Kate Winslet, Angelina Jolie and Helen Mirren, singers Barbra Streisand and Beyonce, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of California, Princess Charlotte of Monaco, model Heidi Klum and actresses Katie Holmes and Marcia Cross. (Kate, Angelina, Helen Mirren – love, love, love them!)

Kerrin's Weekly Roundup

Thanks to Perez Hilton, YouTube, and Erin (who's updated her wish list!). Because without them, I had just about nothing for this entry. And now we're chock full of linky goodness. Splendid.

I'm tired tonight. I had a date with 110 relatives on Saturday, and with twice as many Christmas cookies on Sunday. 'Tis the season. I love it.

The baking-marathon tradition is wonderful. And when but at a family party are you going to get strangers coming up to you, grasping you about the shoulders, and gasping, "You are so beautiful!"

That just doesn't happen to me at work.

• What happens when you drink a Coke. This is why I drink water.
  

• I've been telling you that you were my hero. And now you see why.
  

• Unbearably cute celebrity babies and their lovely moms
  
• Kingston Stefani-Rossdale
• Violet Garner-Affleck
• Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
• Joe Winslet-Mendes
  

• Musical notes. (Ha, ha, see what I did there? So clever. [Told you I was tired.])
• Leona Lewis just won "X Factor" (an "Idol"-type show in the UK) and she's unbelievable. Her single is going to be the same as Kelly Clarkson's, "A Moment Like This," which is unimaginative of Simon - but it's good. And, like Billy Mack, she's tipped to be the Christmas No. 1.
  
• Justin Timberlake did one of the rare great SNL musical performances.
  

• Ian Ziering will be on the next season of "Dancing With the Stars". I work with the only two people on the planet who watch that show. But Steve Sanders was always my favorite. And I used to know his uncle. (In passing - Tucker Carlson was on this show? This is what I miss by not watching TV.)
  

My next two days are going to be spent in the pursuit of... if not academic excellence, at least academic completion. I've got a bet to win. Wish me luck - and if you catch me on MySpace, or reading dreck like these links, or posting, come smack me.

(Oh, and good night, Sac darling.)