Rainy Day at My Cousin's First Job

Pat: note to self

Sarah: ?

Pat: trying to dry socks in the microwave
not the smartest idea

Sarah: HA
pat, I fucking love you.

Pat: i am now sockless

Sarah: um... did they catch fire?

Pat: and i had the even more brilliant idea, of putting them on paper towels.
so that they didnt get any crusty cheese and sauce on them
but that added to the smoke
just intense smelly smoke
no fire
scorched paper towels

Sarah: I'm laughing hysterically, all my coworkers must think I'm crazy

Pat: haha and the icing on the cake is
they were from 2 different pairs
i couldnt find their corresponding partners
so now i ruined 2 pairs of socks

Sarah: I am crying
you have given me four socks worth of laughter this morning
(if it's any consolation)

Pat: hahah
good
if my suffering can bring laughter

Sarah: oh it can

Pat: then thats all i need

Sarah: who needs warm feet when you have that kind of joy in your heart

Pat: haha

Sarah: why are you at home microwaving your socks, anyway? no work?

Pat: lol
im at work
it was the work microwave
i woulda just hung them up to dry if i was at home

Sarah: oh now hang on
just one fucking second
you nuked your mismatched socks
in the WORK MICROWAVE?

Pat: yes
thats why i needed the paper towels to protect from the crusty cheese

Sarah: jesus christ patrick
people EAT FOOD from that thing

Pat: and the hall stinks
i sit right by the microwave
haha yes
the little spinning tray thingie was not in there though
so i know
it didnt contact anything food would contact

Sarah: okay pat
just as a general business tip
keep your socks as far as possible from people's food

Pat: haha meeting time
hey it was early
no one was in
except for the guy adding coffee to the coffee machine

Sarah: enjoy your meeting... barefoot

Pat: haha im in shoes
its just a little
clammy you could say

Sarah: I'd imagine.