03 May 2007

An Open Letter to the Other Me

Girl, I don't know you, but I have gotten to know a LOT about you.

We have the same name and our email addresses must be nearly the same, because I get all kinds of your mail at least once a week. Your travel arrangements, your Evites, your everything.

Like this, this morning:

hello dahling!

just wanted to tell you that... YOU ARE SOOOO BEAUTIFUL TO MEEEE. and to have a great trip to boston of course! now, i have never been to boston or any neighboring towns so i can't really offer any advice. however, steering clear of homeless folks seems like a universally good piece of advice to me!!

stay out of trouble, be safe, and have a GREAT time! i'll talk to you when you get back. i look forward to lots of stories!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox (that's a lotta love, beotch!),


Beth, Boston really isn't as dangerous as you seem to think it is. But yeah, I suppose that is good advice in general.

Or this from last week:

Morning!! Long time no speak !! How r u all? How's the house coming along? Done any more work to it? Work still good ? When r u off on your jollies ? Bet u cant wait . Had a look at that site it's got some great villas - still havent booked though !! Dont want to leave it too late though or will end up with dross!!
Tony in Las Vegas now been there since Monday , back early tom morn. Thought i'd enjoy the "freedom" but actually hate being on my own !!!!
Speak soon , kisses to Isobelle & Luke


Aw, guys, I'm sure your villas won't be dross, no matter how late you book. And I, too, hope Isobelle and Luke are well.

Further to additional information I have learned about you, my Other Me, I hope that you all enjoy your trip to Portugal in two weeks. And I hope your rented Renault Espace works well for you while you're there. I'm sure it will fit seven, as promised. And you got a great price booking it.

For the record, I answer EVERY SINGLE ONE of these emails and tell the person they've reached the wrong person.

Thank goodness I'm not a stalker.


Matthew said...

At least you don't have another person in your company with the same name as you minus one "t" - like a floor mat, the fool.
God only knows how many emails he has received demanding payment for $120k worth of video conference equipment.

Erin said...

I have the same name as a woman in my company who runs the maintenance department in another division of Emerson.

I frequently am notified that the toilets in the machine shop are overflowing.

Beth said...

this post is hilarious. i don't have this problem, but it sure was funny to read about it!