Diatribe in C Minor, based on my side of an AIM conversation this evening.

when you're younger your life is premeasured

in single-serve packets

six years in grade school and three in middle school and four in high school and four (give or take) in college

and so you think in chunks like that

because when you're in middle school, who the hell cares what college is going to be like?

but then that ends and you have THE REST OF YOUR LIFE and that's pretty fucking daunting

and everybody older than you has already done the wandering around looking for a direction thing, and they are sort of heading the way that their life will be

(whether or not that's really what they want)

but they've decided to go that way, or to let themselves go that way anyway

but you know what's scary?

ask a bunch of older people why they have the job they have

almost no one will tell you it's what they always wanted to do

people just fall into shit

and sometimes it's great and they end up happy

and sometimes - they wouldn't say this - but it's not great and they just stay there because they don't know what else to do

and you know why?

because it's TOO FUCKING SCARY to go back HERE again